It's Me! [Uhuru, Raila, Ababu, Mutua and Moses Kuria in a political]

Uhuru met with Raila Odinga. After facing enough problems running his government, he decided to ask him, "How did you run such an efficient government with Kibaki? Are there any tips you can give to me? I want to help this country Bwana Tinga, it’s burning!"

"Well," said Raila, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Uhuru frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

Raila replied, "Oh, that's easy, you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." Raila pushed a button on his intercom. "Please send Ababu Namwamba in here, would you?"

Ababu Namwamba walked into the room and said, "Yes, your Excellency?"

Raila smiled and said, "Answer this riddle. Ababu, your mother and father have a child, it is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?" Without pausing for a minute Ababu answered, "that would be me, Sir!"

"Yes, very good," said Raila.

Uhuru went back to his office to ask his trusted lieutenant Hon. Moses Kuria.

UHURU: Answer this. Your mother and your father have a child, it's not your brother and it's not your sister, who is it?

KURIA: "I'm not sure, let me get back to you."

He asked all his staff in the office but none could give him an answer. Finally, one day, Moses Kuria ran into Dr. Alfred Mutua. Moses Kuria asked, Mutua,

KURIA: Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or sister, who is it?" Alfred Mutua answered sharply, "That's easy, it’s me!" Kuria smiled, and said "Thanks!"

Then he went back to speak with President Uhuru.

KURIA: Sir, I have the answer to that riddle, It's Dr. Alfred Mutua!

Uhuru got angry, he said to Moses Kuria. "No wonder Kenya isn't moving forward, I am surrounded by enough Dummies like you! The answer is Ababu Namwamba!"

Shocking Story as Formatted Phone Info Retrieved Showing Wife Cheats on Pilot Husband With a Hairy Man...PICTURES...!!!

A woman who has allegedly been cheating on her pilot husband with a driving instructor, has gone to the police after her husband posted pictures of her love life online.

Jacklyn Bonareri reported her hubby of one year at the Bamburi Police Station on July 6, accusing him of spoiling her name on social media.

Eric Omune, 29, a pilot based in Saudi Arabia, posted pictures of his wife and her alleged lover on Facebook, igniting much talk on social media.

“I have a stupid wife. While I am away working hard in Saudi Arabia, she brings men to my house, into our matrimonial bed and sleeps with them. I send her money and she keeps saying she wants more. I give her money, which she gives to her married lover, so her lover is also supporting his wife and kids with my money.

The man she is supporting is older than me and quit his job because my wife could support him with my money,” complained Captain Omune on his Facebook page.

Jacklyn denied allegations that she was cheating since “the man in question is just a friend. In fact, there was a day I was so sick and he helped me,” she told The Nairobian.

“My husband is so insecure and this is not the first time he is accusing me of cheating,” added Jacklyn.

“He probably thinks he is inadequate and I might go to someone else, but that is not the truth. Anyway, if I make a mistake, will posting it on social media rectify anything?” she posed, adding that she’s done with the marriage. See also: 10 ways spouses hide clande names in phones

“When he resorts to childish things like posting such allegations on Facebook and even calling my father without even telling me, I don’t see this relationship heading anywhere. Even if he comes and apologises, I am not having him back,” stated Jacklyn.

Jacklyn’s hubby claims he learnt of his wife’s alleged affair after returning home two weeks ago.

“I even gave her a nice new phone. Those are the things you do when you love someone. You give them the best. So I started using her phone, which she had surprisingly formatted.”

After returning to Saudi Arabia, Omune reportedly used a software to recover items his wife had allegedly deleted from the phone. That’s when he allegedly stumbled on barrage of romantic text messages and pictures of his wife and the man.

Annoyed, he sent a message to his wife before calling her asking if she had been cheating on him, which she vehemently denied.

“She denied everything. I thought I was experiencing a bad dream and that the pictures and text messages were but an illusion. I hang up the phone and went through the process again, just in case I was accusing her unfairly. I soon released that I was dealing with a liar,” said Omune.

Omune added that, “She used to go to work in matatus, so I decided to buy her a car. I asked her to choose a model and I paid for it. I took her to a driving school and she soon started sleeping with the instructor. I bought her the car in April last year, that means she has been cheating on me for an entire year.” The heartbroken pilot has since allegedly undergone medical tests.

“We have been trying to get a baby and it seems another man has also been competing with me. Had I not stumbled on the incriminating pictures and texts, I would have continued funding another man’s lifestyle and probably raising his baby as he sleeps with my wife,” says Omune who claims he changed his wife’s lifestyle.

“She used to live in Bamburi, but I moved her to a house in Nyali. We got married officially last year in December after my parents came all the way from Western Kenya to see her parents. We met in 2011 when I was working with Qatar Airways in Doha. We met through a mutual friend and it was as they say, love at first sight, even though she was four years older than me. Now I hate marriage and women with passion,” said the distraught pilot.

He says he has now asked his wife to vacate the house and go back to her parents place.

“I spoke to my in-laws who were very shocked. They gave me the go-ahead to terminate the relationship because such betrayal is unforgivable. I am done with women. I just want to focus on my career as well as my car import business,” he added.

[Standard Media]

Just a day to my wedding, her younger sister did it!!! Shocking story...

I was a very happy man.

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.

So we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me.

It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was Bra-less.

She would regularly bend down when she was near me. I always got more than a nice view.

It had to be deliberate. She never did it around anyone else.

One day she called me and asked me to come over. 'To check my Sister's wedding- invitations' she said.

She was alone when I arrived.

She whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me. She couldn't overcome them anymore.

She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married. She said "Before you commit your life to my sister".

Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom" she said. "If you want one last wild fling, just come up and have me".

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

I stood there for a moment.

Then turned and made a bee-line straight to the front door.

I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lord! Behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me. He said, 'Paul, we are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family my son..'

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.